Recently I have gotten a job as a night auditor at a hotel. The basic job description is that my main responsibility is to make sure that all the daily reports get ran, take care of guests, and set up the breakfast area. The reports take about an hour and a half and the breakfast area an hour. Obviously you can never know what guests will need so no time limit can be placed on that. So, two and a half hours of real work during a nine hour shift.
I have been in training, which means I am not a real night auditor yet. I do half my work on B-shift (the afternoon shift) and half my work on night audit. Generally I’m there 7pm-3am. When I am a full on auditor it will be 10pm-7:30 pm with no breaks. No breaks because the only people running the hotel are me and a security officer. This post will be pretty long because I want to be able to describe my co-workers and tell some stories. You see, the whole idea behind this blog is the crazy things people do during the night at hotels. I have only worked there 3 weeks and already have more interesting stories than I’ve ever had. I want to document these so that I can remember them forever, even when I am not working hospitality anymore (I want to be a history professor someday)
Reggie: Amazing supervisor. Very funny, laid back, and helpful. Makes me laugh constantly. Only thing holding him back is his inability to spell, poor guy. He spells phonetically, like everyone has learned to spell with in the past couple decades, except his manner of speech has a slight urban accent to it. The other day I wanted him to look at a fitness center I want to join, so I said, google St. Louis Fitness Center, but he spelled it finness. Now, when you say it out loud and go, I want to go to the fin-ness center, you can see it’s just sounded out. He can do everything except spell. He has the best people skills ever and will go above and beyond for any guest.
Martin: Older man, really nice, but he gets super nervous and stutters every now and then. He’s traveled a lot. Super tall man. Only been there a month and is still trying to get on all his managers good side. Again. Urban accent. Actually, I guess everyone I work has an accent. I’m not going to lie, almost everyone I work with is black, I’m not, but they are one of the best groups of people I’ve ever worked with.
Kristine: She is actually not black but Filipino, an “intern” is what she is. Here for a year and cute as a button. Sometimes there is a language barrier but I’m sure that will disappear after a few months. She is so adorable, so funny. She has taught me the word, mag-an-da, meaning beautiful. We were going through facebook going they are maganda, they are not maganda. I actually have to drive her to goodwill tomorrow for shoes.
Alicia: HILARIOUS! One of the funniest people in the world, and super nice. She is from New Orleans, which is one of my favorite cities in the country. Yeah, nothing else to add to this one.
Kevin: The current night auditor. He is going to get a promotion and go to days, a manager. Been doing this for five years and knows the in’s and out’s of the whole thing. Any problems, he knows the answer. Staunch baptist, but good person. Learned his life story the other day. He use to be a tiny man, (now he is not so tiny). Was in the military, has a perfect marriage now, involved in a family business.
Tom: Hired me, white guy, very dry sense of humor. Beautiful eyes, the kind worth mentioning.
John: Was the front desk manager, recently demoted himself. Apparently he is only 21, and acts his age…or a damn fool. Great customer service, but I feel he is uncomfortable around other employee’s. I am only 22, but feel like I am so much older than him. He had to cover for Kevin and was just bouncing off the walls. I was like, calm down. Terrible movie choices on his netflix queue. Romantic comedies and nonsense.
So, that’s the crew.
Now, the main attraction: The stories! Most happened last Saturday.
So, Saturday, the night all the drunks come out. Things happen like people try to get rooms and try to bargain you down, like one guy was like: Can you give me your rate? If you do, you can spend the night with us! and I was like, Why would I want to do that?
Later into the night came this story. A tale of woe, of unrequited love. We had a wedding party staying in the hotel, and this man came downstairs. A really, really good looking man. Olive skin, tale, nice slim body. He comes into the lobby around 1 AM and Kevin is helping him out. All I really catch is Kevin saying, “Don’t worry, I will get you a room at a different location.” Kevin goes into the office to make some calls, and while he was back there I was just like, “So why are you in town? Or getting out of town?” and he says, “I was with the wedding group.” I knew not to ask anything else. Kevin gets him a cab and a new room and the mystery man melancholy-ly walks out the door into the night. Kevin says, “Well, now that is a messed up story.” I ask him what’s up. He tells me, “Well, that is the bride’s ex-fiance. He was invited and came to the wedding and he obviously wants to leave.” We discuss how tacky it is to invite your ex-fiance, kinda like rubbing it in his face, and then I ask, “Well, why did he even come?” Apparently, the way it was going to play out in his mind was that the bride would have a change of heart at the last moment, announce her undying love for him, I’m assuming he thought the groom would just step quietly aside, they would run off together and live happily ever after. He planned a romantic comedy in his head, unfortunately it was being played out in reality. This did not happen. In fact, instead there was an altercation and he had to switch hotels. To top it all off, his room was next door to the Bride and Groom! Insult to injury.
This wedding party is acting horribly. Drunk as skunks, it’s intense. Lots of lost room keys, lots of ridiculous nonsense. You see, our hotels has a bar connected to it, so people get wasted and pass out in the lobby a lot. So, whatever. There was a bright spot, this guy was chilling in the lobby all night watching TV, sober, really nice. He wasn’t with the party, he was just waiting for a bus. He had missed it two days in a row, so his new plan was to stay in the lobby til it was time to go. Seth is his name.
At 3:15 I get a call from a room, this man I will call Chris is being crazy on the phone. Asking where he could get beer, and just would not let me hang up. In St. Louis, you can’t buy alcohol after three and he was basically being like, Storm, go get me beer. No Chris, I can’t do that. Storm, just drive me to the East side (They sell 24 hours, but later you will read why people don’t go to the East Side) No Chris, I will not. So, this goes on and on, I was off at three, but am just being held up by this dick. I go and clock out, but I need to use a computer the lobby to tell someone congratulations on their wedding. Kevin puts me back on the phone with this asshole. Seth goes, don’t take him to the East Side, I will give you a hundred dollars to take me to Quincy, IL. You may be thinking, no, no she didn’t put this strange man in her car and drive to the middle of nowhere with him for 100 dollars. Well, yes, yes I did. I am really poor, everyone, don’t judge. It was a great drive. Quincy is like, an hour and a half away from the STL and we talked about life and everything. He is 20, has a wife and kid, tattoo’s, an “open” relationship with his wife. By open, I mean he fucks other people, she knows, she has permission to but doesn’t. This really means to me that she does not care for an open relationship, but doesn’t want to lose him. She is either someday going to divorce him or Lorena Bobbit his ass. I mean, this kid has had a super hard life so far, and I really connected with him. Super ginger too! New life-friend for Storm.
Tonight we had an incident as well. We have a group of future financial advisers. One, went to the East, or just ended up there, or something. Basically, the end of this story is he got his ass kicked and robbed. He story seemed to go, He was downtown, got left at a 7-11, some guys picked him up, took him to the East, robbed him of 500 dollars, and he just walked/wandered around the East Side. I don’t get his story. The only thing to learn: If you’re going to be a financial adviser, don’t go to the East side because you will get your shit fucked up/killed.
Interested in some info on the East Side? Here’s some links!